Rape is a subject that evokes strong emotions—a topic many are hesitant to discuss, too painful for some to address, especially for those who have experienced its devastating effects firsthand. Yet, avoiding this conversation only perpetuates ignorance and hinders the education of society on the dangers and consequences of rape.

In Africa, rape cases are grossly underreported, but the figures we do have show a disturbing trend. A large majority of the cases—approximately 99%—involve women as victims. This paints a bleak picture of the state of sexual violence in many African societies. Yet, despite the widespread occurrence of rape against women, one form of sexual violence that remains deeply misunderstood, and often debated, is marital rape.

Marital Rape: A Cultural Taboo

In many parts of Africa, including Nigeria, the concept of marital rape is met with resistance. A significant number of men argue that having paid a bride price entitles them to sexual relations whenever they please, regardless of the woman’s willingness. This view, deeply rooted in cultural norms, ignores the reality that consent is required in all sexual relationships, including marriage. According to UN Women, 1 in 3 women globally experiences some form of physical or sexual violence, but in many African countries, marital rape is not even legally recognized.

Male Sexual Molestation: The Overlooked Epidemic

Another significant issue that is often ignored is male sexual molestation. Among African men, childhood molestation is far more prevalent than society acknowledges. In informal surveys and personal interactions, it is not uncommon to find that 7 out of 10 men have been molested as children. Yet, these men are rarely given the opportunity to seek therapy or support. Instead, they are told to "man up" and deal with the trauma on their own, leading to damaged self-esteem, erratic behavior, and an inability to form healthy relationships later in life.

Society often demands strength from men, but fails to address their emotional and psychological needs. As the song by Lucky Dube, "Big Boys Don’t Cry" suggests, men are taught that expressing emotions is a sign of weakness. The tragic consequence is a generation of men grappling with unresolved trauma, which affects their relationships, their parenting, and their ability to engage with society in healthy ways.

A Failing System: Reporting Male Rape

In Nigeria, the issue of male rape is almost treated as a joke. When men attempt to report rape, they are often met with disbelief and ridicule. I once accompanied a male victim to a police station to report a case of sexual assault, and the officer responded with a mocking, "No be man you be?" meaning, “Are you not a man?” This statement reflects a dangerous mindset: men are expected to "enjoy" any form of sexual contact, even if it is against their will.

The societal stigma surrounding male rape makes it difficult for victims to come forward. As a result, many men suffer in silence, and the trauma continues to fester, leading to a wide range of behavioral issues, including aggression, depression, and substance abuse.

The Consequences of Ignoring Male Victims

Ignoring male victims of sexual violence has far-reaching consequences. We are seeing an increase in broken homes, high rates of divorce, absentee fathers, and men who treat women with disdain or abuse. Yet, we fail to see the connection between these issues and the trauma many men endured in their youth.

Furthermore, the rise of false accusations in cases of rape adds another layer of complexity to the issue. False accusations, often made for personal gain or revenge, can destroy lives. Men have been wrongfully accused, with some even driven to suicide after their reputations were tarnished by baseless allegations. Sadly, the accusers often face little to no consequences, further eroding trust in the justice system.

The Nigerian Legal System: A Barrier to Justice

In Nigeria, the legal system itself is often an obstacle to justice for victims of sexual violence. When a rape case is reported, the first step in the investigation is known as "Invitation to Treat." Here, the authorities focus on establishing the nature of the relationship between the victim and the accused. They probe into the victim's personal life, questioning their behavior, the way they dress, and the conversations they have had with the accused. This process, which places undue scrutiny on the victim, can effectively kill a case before it even begins.

If a case moves beyond this stage, the focus shifts to proving physical assault or penetration, requiring medical tests and evidence that can be both invasive and retraumatizing for the victim. While these procedures may be necessary to ensure due process, they often add to the emotional burden of the victim, deterring many from seeking justice in the first place.

The Path Forward: Education and Reform

To address the crisis of rape and sexual violence in Africa, we must start by changing the conversation. Education is key. Men and women alike need to understand that consent is fundamental, that marital rape is real, and that male victims of sexual abuse deserve the same support and protection as female victims.
The legal system must also be reformed to reflect modern investigative methods. This includes more humane treatment of victims during the investigation process, swifter prosecution of offenders, and harsher penalties for those who make false accusations. According to a 2020 report by UNICEF, Nigeria has one of the highest rates of sexual violence in sub-Saharan Africa, and yet, many cases go unreported due to the inefficiency and insensitivity of the legal process.

Finally, there must be stronger support systems for all victims of sexual violence. Therapy, counseling, and support groups should be readily available to help individuals heal from the trauma of rape and molestation.
Rape is not just a "woman's issue." It affects everyone—men, women, children—and its ripple effects are felt across families and communities. If we are to create a safer, more just society, we must confront the reality of sexual violence head-on, educate our communities, and reform the systems that allow these atrocities to continue unchecked.

The question remains: Are we ready to take the necessary steps to address this crisis?

By Eseigbe Emmanuel (Amb)