Gifting as a language of love

The word ‘gift’ originates from a Greek word which is commonly understood as ‘grace’ meaning ‘unmerited favor.’ A true gift is given out of a heartfelt desire to express passionate love, not as a trading desire to receive something in return for the gift. In some cultures like the Chinese, giving a gift is often seen as an apology, a way of expressing regretful acknowledgement.

We all tend to express love in different ways, from our words and in our crazy actions, but did you know there exists something called “love languages’’ and the act of gifting is one of the five love languages.The New York Times best selling book Gary Chapman changed the way people view and express love.In his book ‘ The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate’, he explicated a theory that there are five major ways people in romantic relationships give and receive love, and that we all speak certain languages that does not involve words better than the verbal languages in our romantic lives and gifting in a very important part in it.


In most cases, it is observed that partners don’t speak and communicate the same gifting language and tend to have different preferences for different things, so understanding to speak the significant other’s preferred language becomes even more important in anchoring the relationship. Additionally, Chapman says that it improves the understanding of each other’s being,increasing the quality of conversation, and fostering deeper love and connection.


Identifying your Partner’s Gift Giving Love Language
Every human is unique and everyone has a unique preference.You have to pay attention to their everyday actions to figure out their language. Here are some points that can help you get started:
Does your partner have fun shopping so much that they look forward to rather than seeing it as a chore?
Does your partner give out gifts at festivities, put a lot of time and thought into the gifts for the recipient?
Does your partner value the gifts they received a long time ago because of the emotional value they hold?
Does your partner collect souvenirs from every trip or a special place they go on?
Does your partner have the ability to choose the right gift for any situation?

If this sounds like your partner, it is safe to say that gifting is one of their primary love languages. Finding out how they are tuned to perceive love is essential so that their expressions of affection are acknowledged.
There’s more to a gift than what’s visible. If your partner speaks the gift giving love language, they will cherish the gifts they get as sentimental and emotional remembrances more than as material things.
They may store movie tickets, chocolate wrappers, old clothes or other unconventional objects only because of the emotional connection with a particular moment in the relationship.
To quote Gary Chapman “The most important thing is not the gift but the emotional love communicated by the gift.”
Speaking the Gift Love Language
Focusing on their individual likes and dislikes, to what they’re drawn to and what catches their attention is a good beginning to being speaking the love language.
Furthermore, there are more things to pay attention to.
Listen carefully to your partner. What is their favourite thing to do? What is their favourite colour? Is there any product that they fantasize about but always hesitate to buy for themselves?
Create a record of things and preferences they mention in everyday conversations, use it to buy gifts they like when the day comes.
Understand that gift giving is not in terms of material value, but in terms of emotional expression. A well timed, thoughtful gesture communicates love more loudly than an expensive but impersonal gift.
Establish a ritual of gift giving, as opposed to using it to patch up your bond when things are hard. A small gift offered out of the blue to make them smile goes longer than an expensive gift meant only as an apology.




Along with gifts focused on your partner’s needs and preferences, consider gifts centered on you both as a couple, a gift that will boost togetherness.


Majority of us understand this love language and let us learn to use the language properly. With these simple steps and understanding, you can begin to nurture this love language and use it as a way to develop good connections and foster long lasting relationships.
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